Sorrow

Easter has come and gone and I found myself reflecting on life. Life- what does that mean? Is it just a mortal existence? Is it compiled of trials, mistakes, joy, pain, love, and happiness? It's so much more. Life, stretches so much further. I know that this mortal existence is just a small segment of my life. I was so touched this Easter in a way I have never been touched before. As I watch my children grow and struggle, I often times loose my patience, use guilt to make a point, and scold them. Is that what the Savior does to me? Absolutely not! Life is challenging and often times we loose the war but fight to win the battle. Our Savior teaches us with love and forgives us freely. It was through His sacrifice that my life is full and I can be forgiven and live my entire life beyond the grave with Him again. 

Often times when Ryan is driving and I am in the passenger seat, I give driving advice. It annoys Ryan, so I have learn to sit quietly while he drives, even if I know he missed a turn or should have changed lanes so that he wouldn't miss the off ramp on the freeway. It eats at me at times, especially when he drives slow. Every once in a while he will forget where he is going (he gets lost in conversation and misses turns), and I will speak up. He then will ask me why I didn't say something earlier. I've become almost afraid of giving driving advice because of past experience. Recently I spoke to Ryan about this. He was surprised because he didn't realize he was speaking unkindly to me when I was offering help. Recently a loved family member has made serious transgressions and has headed down a dangerous path. It's broken my heart to see the pain decisions have made. As I have reflected on the years of poor decisions that have gone unresolved, I think of driving with Ryan. Have I sat quietly and said nothing? Have I given advice and been scolded because of it and consequently stopped trying to help? Yes. I saw the writing on the wall. I saw the pain up ahead. What could I have done? I don't know. I think of my family member and sorrow engulfs me. I feel such a sense of sadness and hopelessness. How do you help someone that has lost their way? The answer is love. Just as our Savior teaches and forgives with love, so shall I. I am far from perfect and make mistakes daily, but I know my Father in Heaven loves me and my Savior died for my sins. Just as I have been forgiven and learn to grow, so can we all. 

I resolve that I will love more freely. I will forgive more freely. And I will emulate my Savior. This Easter has been a difficult and special one. I am grateful for life's lessons and that we can all change. What an amazing gift we have been given.