Monday, November 9, 2009
Optimism has been thrown out the window!
Why is it in life whenever you take two steps forward, you must then take one step back? It feels like the end result is nearly impossible to reach? Why after you gain a little, must you then loose a little? WHY? I feel like I am taking crazy pills these days. I spend at least one small portion of everyday crying and asking myself how much longer I can handle it. I feel like I am loosing more of myself and my sanity everyday. And everyday I wonder why I did this to myself. Why was I given a challenge I feel I cannot handle? I spend 90% of my day wondering if I am a good mother, a good wife, a good person. I feel like during that 90% of the time I am also giving myself pep-talks to make myself feel better. I have come to realize that I am a very pesimistic person and that all optimism has left the building. Life sucks! The glass is half empty! The world is coming to an end, but not soon enough! I am fat and probably always will be! And Lucy is the hardest baby in the world and probably will never grow out of it!