Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Friends - I miss them

I have been thinking a lot lately. Growing up we moved a lot and so I don't have a lot of friends. When we lived in Sandpoint I hung out with a few great girls: Melani Boren, Melenie Kidd, Carolyn Buck, Erin Loutzenhiser, and Jessie Meigs. These girls were my best friends and we had so much fun together. I love them all so much. Well, I moved and so did some of them. We haven't all be together since ....... 1996 or 1997, I think. It's been so long. I miss those girls.

While in college and living in Provo I met Leslie Prisco. She and I clicked from the beginning. We worked together at the hospital. We worked graveyard shift together on the cancer unit. We had so much fun together. She and I did everything together. We went to school together, lived by each other, and worked together. It was great. Then, I went on my mission. She and I kept in contact and since I've been home we see each other at least once a year. She moved back home to Ohio while on my mission and now lives in Indiana. I miss hanging out with her. I love it when we get together, we just sit around and laugh. I miss that so much.

Now don't get me wrong, I love Ryan and we have so much fun together, but I'm lonely. Family is great, but I really wish I had friends close by. My sisters live close, but I don't see them that often becasue they live 45 minutes away. My mom lives down the road, but she's my mom (you understand, right?). The thing is, I feel like I'm all alone and no one wants to be with me. I know it's not true, but sometimes I feel like it's me, not them. I look at all the girls my age in my ward and wonder why they don't want to be around me. I'm funny, I'm not too bad looking, right? It seems like they are all friends with each other, and I want it so badly. I just want a friend to call me and say "hey, I'm coming over just to say hi, and no other reason". Other than my Sandpoint friends and Leslie, I've never had that really strong connection with anyone else. I have some good friends from my mission, but we've all moved on and rarely see each other. I know, it's a pity party for Renee, but I am so lonely. Venting helps sometimes, right?

7 comments:

Carolyn said...

Yes, venting helps! And I miss those Sandpoint days too, so much fun. At least we can keep in touch through blogging now!

Jess said...

Ok just reading this makes me miss you. Yes you are funny (I would actually go as far as to say hilarious), cute, fun, and everyone should want to be around you. The last time that we hung out was my shower and before that when we went on the funniest double date ever where your date disappeared into the bathroom for 40 min. Needless to say we need to meet up soon. Whenever I talk about you Brad says now I know her right? He doesn't, but since I talk about you all the time he thinks that he does. You are loved from a distance.

Josh and Britany said...

I know exactly what you mean, I felt that same way when I met your sister, we just clicked! I don't have that same relationship with anyone here, but I hope you know that I am really looking forward to having you so close and you better plan on us hanging out together!

emily, etc, etc said...

That makes me sad - at least you know you always have the Sandpoint girlies and Leslie with the hot clothes! AND you always have me - and really what more would you need, right!!! I love you...

Nancy Coates said...

Renee,
I'm your friend! and so is Julie, don't forget about us! We love you!
I couldn't have gotten through college without you.

Vinyl Masterpiece said...

Hey there,
You are one of the funniest people I know.I love ya. We had some good times! WOW, and some I don't want to remember. You know I saved all of our notes from junior high. What a hoot. Mel would die if she saw what she wrote. :) We really should plan a get together for all of us Sandpoint girls. I'm in CA, Mel and you are in Utah, Car is in Or and Mel Kidd is in ID. We should totally do that.
You are missed.
Take care my friend!
Erin

Leslie said...

Awwww....I love what you wrote about our friendship and the great pic you put up! I feel the same way. Great (aka:slightly insane) minds think alike. I love that picture of us! I can't wait to see you for our yearly visit...whenever that may be this year! Love you and miss you tons!

Les